i have to say, it takes a lot for me to admit i'm tired. but i am. i don't think i ever knew an exhaustion like this. every day is full throttle, taking care of a crawling, teething child who has a determination to pull himself up on just about anything and everything. trying to balance being a baby chaser and having some semblance of a career has been a challenge as well. i've been determined to do "this" on my own, to take care of my child without the help of someone during the day. i'm not sure why i limit myself, why i have to stick with an idea regardless of how realistic it is. i can be very harsh with myself. i don't like taking things easy, nor do i like not being busy. but since we touched down in LA it's been go, go, go.

so some things have changed around here. frank and i found a babysitter, and are going on our first date since amesy was born (yes, he's almost 9 months old), we are also in the process of getting a very part-time nanny to help during the week, and we just booked a little vacation next month to the desert (not sure if that was the smartest idea at the height of summer). all good things that will hopefully alleviate some of the drained vibes around here.

i haven't been cooking for fun lately, and i rarely find time to recipe develop anything more than an iced matcha latte. so i couldn't be more grateful to cookbooks these days. their pages are like little gifts giving me instructions and measurements and telling me how put one foot in front of the other and put a meal together. this fattoush dip recipe comes from izy hossack's 2nd book, the savvy cook. the dip is a riff on a traditional fattoush salad but placed on top of a kidney bean puree. i love a good dip, and this one popped out at me. first, i love how vibrant it is, but it's wonderfully original, and delicious. the dip is flavored with a bit of garlic, and the salad is dressed with a simple dressing that's tossed with cinnamon. i wasn't sure how the garlic and the cinnamon would play off each other, but it's definitely a flavor i'm going to revisit.

happy almost summer! xo

fattoush dip | v

recipe from The Savvy Cook by Izy Hossack

| serves 3 to 4 |

dip

1 1/3 cups (240g) red kidney beans, drained (except for 3 tablespoons liquid from can) and rinsed
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
2 garlic cloves, coarsely chopped or crushed
salt
juice of 1/2 lemon

salad

handful of cherry tomatoes, halved or quartered
2 radishes, thinly sliced
handful of arugula or pea shoots
handful of cilantro, coarsely chopped (leaves and stems)
handful of mint leaves, coarsely chopped
1 scallion, finely sliced
handful of pomegranate seeds (optional)

dressing

2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
juice of 1/2 lemon
pinch of salt

method

using a handheld blender or a countertop blender, blend all the dip ingredients together until smooth. transfer the dip to a serving plate, spread it out slightly, then top with the salad ingredients.
in a jar with a screw-on lid, combine all the dressing ingredients, put on the lid, and shake to mix.
pout the dressing over the salad and dip, then serve with pita chips, pita bread, or crackers for dipping.